OmaHeck: Anybody Want a Peanut?

First off, if you recongized the title from its source in "The Princess Bride", +2 for you and a gold star to boot.

[pause for self congratulation... now on to the meat of the post]

If you buy salted-in-the-shell peanuts in bulk, you may want to stop, or at least reconsider your current venue.

In a fit of randomness, we learned the following recently:

Sitting at breakfast, Dane asked Cyndie, "Mom, are you supposed to eat the shells?"

"What shells, honey?"

"On the peanuts, are you supposed to eat them?"

"Well, no, but they do have lots of salt on them, don't they?"

"When there are peanuts out in a box at the store, I used to just grab some, suck the salt off, then put the peanuts back in the box."

Now, I can't prove this actually happened, nor can the alleged location be pegged. All we have is the mad ramblings of a diabetic 9-year-old.

But I did think you should know.

OmaHeck: The Devil and College

Here are a couple of great kid-isms that occured recently:

We have neighbors who are big PAC-10 fans (or is that PAC-12?)... mostly USC, but conference affiliated in any case. Dane was at their house playing and the kids went to the computer to get on Webkinz. As the screensaver went off, he saw Sparky, the ASU mascot on the desktop. His question to his hosts: "Why is Satan on your computer?"

...

Our family was in the car talking about all sorts of things (driving, too, not just sitting in the garage to enhance "tegetherness", but it's something we may consider). Somehow the subject of college came up. Dane was adamant that he isn't going to college. Just not interested in that much schooling. Too bad since he's a sharp kid and wants to be a paleontologist. Cracker-Jack box diploma anyone?

So Tate started asking more questions about college... why people go there, what it's like, and so forth. Cyndie and I explained that some jobs require people to get specific education. We also talked about different kinds of jobs and that today -- in their generation -- it is harder to get a job without a college education.

At this point Tate deadpans, "So Dane will never get a job" with just a hint of question.

OmaHeck: Tate's Take

Today's topic on Tate's Take: Trampolines...

1. We do a lot of tricks. Boing.
2. Dane tells me his dreams on the trampoline.
3. We play a lot of crazy things.
4. We play when each other isn't around.
5. We play on it after our homework.
6. We play on it after our big sized dinner.
7. We get hurt a lot on the trampoline.
8. We never fall off the trampoline.
9. We act like the nets are webs.
10. We are exersizeing on the trampoline.
11. We are monsters for each other.
12. We act like killers on the trampoline.
13. We are so big fans of the trampoline.
14. We act like fool like on AFV.
15. We play with water on hot days.

OmaHeck: The Incident (of Dane, Deductibles, and DKA)

In his extremely odd song "Pancreas", Weird Al favors us with the following:
My pancreas is always there for me
Secreting those enzymes
Secreting those hormones too
Metabolizing carbohydrates just for me

OK, so what if it doesn't? Metabolize carbohydrates, I mean. Well, then you are Dane and you have Type 1 Diabetes. This news may come as a shock to some of you... we've told some as it has come up, but haven't reached out en mass, and we know that others are learning here for the first time. Hope the Weird Al reference softens the blow for you.

It was just a few days after my last blog post (which of course was intended to kick off some more frequent blogging) that we had our "incident." Here's how it went down:

Dane had been a little sick for a while. A cold. Some sniffles. Nothing too crazy. Maybe a virus we thought after a few days, because there was a bit of vomiting. But really, this family has seen kid sickness before.

The weekend got a little more intense, he was pretty lethargic and a little more of the "fun stuff."
By the time I got home from work Monday night (rather late, because I had an event with some customers that evening) Dane was in bad shape. While the vomiting had subsided, he was breathing very heavily. This is normal for D when he has a fever, but he didn't have a fever, so we were getting really concerned. After another trip to the bathroom where Dane was just too tired to walk out, so he just lay down on the floor. Well, he lay down if you call falling over and saying, "I'm just too tired to stand up" laying down. OK, now we knew something was up.

All along we hadn't seen evidence of Swine Flu (H1N1) or any other pandemic or such... we were at a loss.

Cyndie just looked at me and said, "You have to take him to the ER." So I did.

They did a History a quick once over and started in on their stuff. I didn't know what was going on.

Every once in a while they asked me a question.

Eventually, about 2 am they said "Diabetic Ketoacidosis." And I was totally confused. Dane doesn't have diabetes, I told myself. And good thing, because if there are 2 things this kid hates, it is shots and food. At that point the Doctor in charge told me that Dane needed to be transported to Primary Children's hospital because that is where they treat juveniles. And transport would be by ambulence. At this point I am pretty sure we have reached our insurance deductible for Dane. Turns out that Diabetic Ketoacidosis (DKA) is pretty serious stuff. You can read more about it here.

I followed the ambulance up to PCH. At this point I am really confused. Partially because I am bleary-eyed, and partly because I am still relatively sure that Dane does not have diabetes (this is what psychologists call "denial".)

About 2 more hours in the ER at PCH, then maybe 8 or so in Pediatric Intensive Care (PICU). After which Dane was transferred to the "floor" or the regular hospital with a confirmed diagnosis of Type 1 Diabetes where he stayed for the next 3 days. This kind of stay is totally normal with a new diagnosis of Diabetes.

This is already long, but I'll shorten the rest up a bit...

You spend 3 days at the hospital so the endocrinologist can monitor how you respond to insulin (and in Dane's case so we could get his blood sugar levels down from 500 to closer to 100 in a slow and controlled manner). Also, there is a substantial (read: overwhelming) amount of information you need and about every 90 minutes someone is coming in to teach you something: diet, exercise, pharmaceuticals, injections, insurance, support groups, clinics, supplies, etc. We didn't know quite how to respond to it all... compare this to when Tate was diagnosed with Autism and we were essentially told "Your son exhibits behaviors consistent with the Autistic spectrum. Good luck with that."

I'm sparing the emotional detail. Frankly, it's almost too exhausting to relive, even in pixels.

So where are we now?

• Dane is testing blood glucose himself (sparingly) and doing his own injections (always) after Cyndie or I calculate the dosage and draw the insulin.
• We generate much more garbage that we did before (mostly little plastic caps from the syringes, alcohol wipes, alcohol wipe packaging, blood glucose strips and packaged food (which lists the exact number of carbs included).
• We live a more regimented life (Dane needs to eat regularly, and he's still in the honeymoon phase, where his pancreas regains some-though inconsistent-functionality before finally giving up for good).
• We are extremely grateful to Heavenly Father who sustains us in all things, and for those locally who have helped us through to this point.
  Cyndie and I don't go out as much... still need to get him comfortable with dosing himself before we inflict him on a babysitter...

There's more, of course, but I'm getting too deep and that's not what I wanted for this post. It is a life changing event. That's an understatement of course. The change is more pronounced for us because just 72 hours before the "Incident" and diagnosis, Cyndie and I spent a couple hours with several old friends at a wedding reception. All those conversations would have been radically different if they'd have happened a week later.

OmaHeck: The Longest 2 Minutes in Church

I'm quite confident that this was a first. Jeremy said there is a long and established (even distinguished1) precedent, but I am similarly confident that his offering was intended to provide perspective, not fact.


Tate was ordained a Deacon in the Aaronic Priesthood. And that part went quite well. He wore a white shirt. And a tie. A really nice tie2. We had discussed that Deacons are reverent and that Deacons tuck their shirts in. Also, they should probably keep their collars turned down. Bishop (kind, grandfatherly and easygoing) pointed this collar thing out in the interview3, referencing the picture of the First Presidency on the wall. Tate deftly pointed out that Joseph Smith wore his collar up. Bishop pulled the 6" bust of the Prophet Joseph from his credenza and was forced to admit Tate had him there4.


So for the rest of the week, and many, many times today, Tate was reminded that there were some keys to performance today: overt reverence, shirt tails tucked in, collar down. Especially while he was on the stand, next to the Bishop, being sustained by the members of the Ward.


Well, we almost got there. Here's a play by play of the day that will be remembered as long as neurons continue to fire in the Homestead Ward:


Bishop called Tate up to the stand. I absentmindedly closed the book Tate was looking at, so he had to open to the right page and mark it before he could leave the pew. Elapsed time: 7 seconds. (Whew!)


He hopped/bounced5 the 15 yards or so up to the stand. The last 5 yards also served to flip up his collar (several snickers-the vocal kind, not the candy kind). Elapsed time: 17 seconds.


After his flight up the stairs (3 of them) he paused, looked at the Bishop and untucked his shirt tails to many more audible laughs. Elapsed time: 20 seconds.


He stood quietly by the Bishop (on the Bishop's left, this will come to play in just a bit) while he was presented to be sustained. He did lean his head on the pulpit. Elapsed time: 40 seconds.


When he was asked to raise his hand to sustain himself, our sweet Bishop lifts Tate's right hand into the air. Right in front of the microphone. You see where I am going? Tate proceeded to tap his fingers on the microphone. So Bishop set Tate's hand down. Asks if any are opposed, gets no response and lets go of Tate's hand. At which point Tate raps his knuckles on the pulpit. Guess what? Our chapel has good acoustics! Tra La! Elapsed time: 1.25 minutes.


Cyndie and I look at each other and breathe a sigh that we've made it through this performance.


And then came the Encore! Really, there was an encore.


Tate walked about 3 steps away from the pulpit (still about 3 steps from the stairs), puts his hands on the banister, and proceeds to launch himself over the bulkhead and onto his backside on the floor. Elapsed time: 1.75 minutes.


Cyndie and I are mortified. At some point in Tate's effort, Bishop said, "No!" Then laughed and said, "Tate's a good kid.". There were more laughs. Fortunately, there were no horrified gasps, or judgmental ones either. Cyndie and I are mortified regardless.

And that was how our Sacrament meeting started.

So, thanks to Jeremy for his perspective. And thanks to Sandra, who wanted so much to tell Alex6 to take the pressure off Tate by doing exactly the same thing. If only she wasn't on the other side of the chapel at the time.

If the Kentucky Derby is "The Fastest Two Minutes in Sports", this was "The Longest Two Minutes in Church" and perhaps in my life.

____________________

1 "Joseph Smith exited the stand like that all the time."

2 One that Cyndie got at DI for $2. Not the one Gwimi bought retail, presented to him on his birthday and for her efforts was told, "Thank you... but you don't give clothes for a birthday, you give toys!" Gwimi and Grandpa have subsequently been offered shopping privileges in Cyndie's closet.

3 In the interview, Tate also pointed out that the statue of the Christus looked like Plato. Bishop concurred. He's learning not to argue facts with Tate.

4

5 If you've seen him walk, you know.

6 RS Prez Sandra's son Alex was presented to be advanced to the office Teacher today. He was on the right side of the chapel preparing to pass the Sacrament. She was on the far left with her Husband. She told Cyndie, "It was great to see him up there today." Cyndie rolls eyes. Sandra empathetically says, "No, it really was great." Cyndie confesses that she doesn't know whether to laugh or cry. Sandra says to laugh. "I wanted to tell Alex, 'Go do the exact same thing. Do it just like he did. Take the pressure off!'"

OmaHeck: More Kid Quotes

This has been a day of great quotes. Dane has really been on one.

This morning I let both boys know that their cousin is in the hospital due to a kidney infection. Dane got a very concerned look on his face, then, it brightened as he asked, "Will they have to replace it with a weasel kidney? I've heard people can be healed by weasel kidneys."

Cyndie and I ended up at the Urgent Care. (Long story; she's fine, though. Thanks for asking.) When I got home, Dane says, "Looks like we won't make it to church today." I responded that he was correct. With a fist in the air, he goes, "Yesss!" I gave him a shocked look and said (sternly), "Dane!?!" To which he instently replied, "I mean 'What a shame!'"

One of my baseball caps is in the sink soaking (camped with the 12 year old scouts this weekend and it smells like smoke, so Cyndie was soaking it in some soap... Tate was cleaning his place at the table after dinner (tacos, yummm!) and decided to put his plate in the side of the sink with the hat, rather than in the side with a few other dishes. I asked him why he did that when my hat was in there trying to get clean from the smoke smell. He told me "Now it will smell like meat and guacamole!"

OmaHeck: Classic Kid Quotes

Here are some gems from recent days:

Dane likes pitas. Except that Cyndie got a different brand (organic or something) and they weren't perfect circles, and they weren't uniformly beige. Dane was livid, except he was livid with me, because Cyndie had never made a pita for him from the new batch. He finally relented, tasted them, made a face and decided that despite their imperfections, while they were worth complaining about, they weren't worth fighting about. Cyndie got the other brand the next time. When Dane saw them, he said "Yea! Mommy pitas!" To which Cyndie asked, "Well, really what's wrong the the pitas that Daddy makes?" Dane responded, "They're like my worst kind of kryptonite!"

Each night we take turns telling each other something we're thankful for. The other night Tate said the following, "Brownies, and a few stuff that I don't even know about."

Tonight we were at dinner at Cyndie's parents' home. It is Bompa's 71st birthday. The neighbor dog, Roscoe, likes to come over and play with the boys when they visit. As we were leaving, Roscoe made his way over to say good-bye. Dane picked him up and got wet on by Roscoe the puppy. Dane's reaction? "Roscoe saw my and got so excited... he got excitement all on my sock!"

OmaHeck: Sled Your Pants Off!

Thirty degrees and sunny with 6" of fluffy, white powder. What are 3 red-blooded American men to do? Hit the city park, dang-it!

By the time we took care of chores and got our gear together, the sun was casting some sideways shadows, but the clear skies helped keep the hillside warm.

Adventurer (and complusive water finder) that he is, Tate found some really great views of the creek, a bridge and trees freshly adorned.

At some point, he took a walk on the "frozen" part of the creek. Oh, so that's how he got so wet. Don't tell Mom!


What goes up...

must inevitably come down, and that's the really fun part of sledding!

"Hey, Dad, that looks like ice. I bet we could slide down without a sled, right on our snow pants."

"Hey guys, if you slide on your snow pants, you might wear them out too fast, and bump your bum in the process."

OmaHeck: Hoops and Heights

We're fortunate to get to see some good hoops here in Utah. BYU's team has been especially good so far (we'll see what happens come March, but for now there are no eyes on this horse's mouth). My company has season tickets to the Utah Jazz as well. These come with a few bonus events, like an autograph night where you can bring an item and stand in line for your favorite Jazz players, coaches and mascots to sign. We thought Dane would be all over it, but he went chicken and wouldn't have anything to do with the players. Tate, on the other hand, was all over it after he saw the Dippin' Dots stand (unfortunately idled for the evening).

Tate can't believe his eyes (is that why they are closed?) He's about to get an autograph from Bear (and Andrei Kirilenko, who pales in comparison).

My favorite Jazz Fans:


If you ask Tate, the best autographs were from the Jazz Dancers :-). They were signing posters with all of the dancers in action. In his most polite manner, Tate approached their table, offered his Jazz calendar, told them "No thank you" when they offered him a poster, and said, "Sign this, and have a good day." The gal misunderstood, so she winked at Tate and said, "How 'bout I sign it 'Have a GREAT day?'" Tate blushed...

Recently, we all hit the Marriott Center for a BYU vs Colorado State basketball game. It was family day, so there were about 15,000 kids there (no joke, it was overly kid-ish, even for Utah County). We only decided to go the game that same morning, and didn't want to pay a service fee for tickets online. So by the time we arrived, pickings were slim. We ended up on the top row (but in chairs). It was a great view, and we had a good time. Adding to the fun was an old-fashioned romp! BYU won 91-47.

I kind of forgot that I had the camera until the game was over, but since we let the crowd clear out before we left, I was able to snap some pics... but there was no one left to take a shot of all of us together.

My favorite Cougar fans:

OmaHeck: Tate's Take

Here's another edition of our new column: Tate's Take. Today's entry comes from an email he sent home during school:

Mrs. Brown said I was goofy because I did things that changed the subject. I
learned that Pez were first used for adults and after their creation they were
used by children.

I found out that barracudas and sharks love shiny
things. Mrs. Brown once got chased by barracudas because she wore shiny
earrings.

I went ice skating today and didn’t get hurt at all. Mrs.
Brown was my partner for a while, but I didn’t need her help at all after a
while. I love ice skating!

... and that's Tate's Take