This is a Post from the Andersons. The Name of the Post is Merry Christmas 2012

Another year has passed, another season is behind us. The challenges have made us stronger.  The joys have made us happier.  In the end, we're better than we were a year ago.  We're thankful for all those who have helped us. For the opportunities to help others. And especially for our Savior who's birth we celebrate.

Enjoy these notable quotes from 2012 and a few pictures of our family. 

Tate
 

On Trek
(A 4-day, 30-mile Pioneer reenactment)

Tate (on day 1): This is stupid! We’re going to die!

Dad: You are doing great! Just keep it up a while longer.
Tate: I’m going to invent a time machine and go back and kill the person who invented Trek!
Trail Boss’s Wife to Dad: He’s doing great.
Dad: I’m afraid his complaining will wreck the experience for the other Trekkers.
Trail Boss’s Wife: He isn’t saying anything everyone else isn’t thinking.
Dad: Really? Other people are thinking ‘I’m going to invent a time machine and go back and kill the person who invented Trek!’?
  
(later that night after an 11 mile hike to camp)

 Tate: Do you have my slippers? (integral part of the sleep routine)
Dad (realizing they weren’t packed, and panicking at the potential for unraveling): No buddy, I didn’t pack them.
Tate: Oh, well. You know what they say: ‘Win some, lose some.’ Good night.
 

It really was the 18th Miracle. Only a higher power can make changes to “The Routine” acceptable.

  

On Dessert

 Mom, I love you when you make cookies, and other sweets and treats... in fact, I just love you.

  

On the Sorry State of the Car’s Back Seat 

I think we need a new car; I think this one is getting old and germs have found a home!

Dane

On Biology

There are these worms in Australia that are as big as ropes. 
O’course, that would just be nasty for the horses.
 

On Religion

While talking about the righteous being on the right hand of God, Cyndie explains that we want to choose the right, so we’re with the righteous and can be taught by Christ.  Christ won’t teach those who reject him.
Dane: Why won’t he talk to those people over there? Can’t he turn his head to the left?
 

“Is St Patrick’s Day a holiday of the Lord?” 

(Essentially, we don’t celebrate it at church, but Veggie Tales talks about it...and do we get it off school?)
  

On Anatomy

(after Cyndie’s hysterectomy)

So it’s a ‘wombectomy’? And now you have that hollow space in your innards. 

 

My last baby tooth will fall out in January or February. I guess you can say I am in tune with my body. (While sitting in the back of the car, wiggling the stubborn tooth.)
 

On Diet 

I’m not picky. I’m just… specific.

 

Mama Grizzly Has Nothing. Nothing!

The other day, Tate was reading in the "parlor" while Cyndie was doing a few chores in the bedrooms.

He lured her down with the promise of a very important question.

When she arrived, he said, "Can I ask you a question?"

Since that was the whole reason she'd come down stairs, she, of course agreed.

"Mom, if you saw someone being cruel to me, would you do what any mother would do? And build a demonic robot to destroy them?"

A Holiday of the Lord

So Tate turned 14 this week. We had a small celebration at home in anticipation of a rim-rattling BBQ festeja on Saturday.

On the way home from school yesterday, Tate says to Cyndie, out of the blue, "Mom, is St. Patrick's Day a Holiday of the Lord?"

Cyndie wasn't quite sure where he was going and began to chuckle.

Without a response, Tate kept going. "Will Famous Dave's be closed on Saturday?"

Cyndie softly, but firmly, reassured him, "No, no, no. St. Patrick's Day is not a Holiday of the Lord. Famous Dave's will be open for your party!"



We know one kid that is pretty thrilled to learn that St Patrick and the Lord weren't really that close.

Daffy in My House!

Today in church a very spirited 8 week old girl was being blessed. As she wailed into the mic, Dane turned to Cyndie and said, in a spot-on Daffy Duck impersonation (induckonation?) "Well, it lookth like thith baby doethent want to go to the baby theremony!" My child is a toon!

The Endorsement

Dane has decided to make it official. While weighing the virtues of political neutrality up to this point, he's taken the gloves off now.

He's throwing his full support behind the man he thinks can really change the country: Stephen Colbert!

Here's the ringing endorsement:

"I think he'd make a nice president... He's got a wife, he's got kids... even though he cusses a lot."

In a statement, Mr. Colbert thanked Dane for his willingness to take a stand and for his unfailing patriotism. "Personally, I think that's the best endorsement any candidate could hope for: a full disclosure of my warts, with an acknowledgement that they aren't the entirety of what I have to offer, that there are virtues deeper than the surface."

D.A.R.E. To Say It Like It Is

Dane recently completed the D.A.R.E program at school. It's a national substance abuse prevention program. As part of the requirements, Dane had to write a report about resisting drug use.

Something you may not know about Dane, he watches the Today Show on NBC every day while getting ready for school. He's become kind of a news junkie. He knows a ton about what's going on in the world. He also watches Stossel and The Colbert Report.

You may remember that Dane (then age 7) posited that Barack Obama became President because he stopped smoking, which it turns out is not the case, incidentally. With all the GOP primaries on the news Dane reminded us that President Obama was elected by the people (Dane's leaning toward an endorsement of Stephen Colbert as the South Carolina Primary approaches) and Michelle Obama says PBO didn't stop smoking until early 2010.

With that background, I give you Dane's D.A.R.E. Report (unedited):

Some people think drugs, alcohol and smoking is fun, like Obama did. But, he eventually quit smoking. Drugs are not playthings, but people still use them illegaly. Did you know that in thirty days twenty percent of eighth-grade students drink alcohol? To much drinking can cause death. Smoking can turn your lungs black. Don't be a fool, smoking isn't cool. So don't get involved i alcohol, drugs, violence and crime. Dare to resist. Don't smoke, drink, or take drugs. All of these will do this --> (hand drawn)I, Dane Anderson swear to stay drug free.

Thanks, Dane. We have no further comment.

Great Quotes!

Here are a couple choice samples from our house recently.

Tate was at school and had pushed the boundaries with his Special Ed. Teacher. The established response was that the Teacher would call Cyndie to discuss the situation.

Teacher: Hi, Cyndie. Teacher here. We've got a small problem at the ice cream social here at the school.
Cyndie: OK. What's going on?

Tate (in the background): Abort the call! Abort! Abort! Abort the call!

Teacher and Cyndie: (Trying not to laugh!)
***************************

Have you been to McDonald's recently? Hope not. But if you have, you'll identify with this next one.

With mounting pressure from government and other entities about the obesity level in the US, Happy Meals now come with obligatory apple slices and a severly reduced fry serving. Cyndie explained this to Dane when he earned a recent Happy Meal.

Despite the pre-emptive planning, Dane was not thrilled with the small box of fries. (Aside: I was going to keep the container and post a picture here, but the Dog got it and chewed it up before I could take the pic). Dane wailed "Why, why do they do this to me?"

Cyndie explained that it was due to government pressure and health requirements. Dane began shaking his fist in the air and cried, "Curse you Government!" No word on whether he's forming a militia.
***************************

Finally, here's a look into the power of media:

Tate informed us that our good friend Greg Hefley has assured him that while school wrestling is totally fake, the stuff on TV with masks and chairs, etc. is 100% totally the Real Deal.

OK, Tate, whatever you say.

Zero Hour! Hawaiian Vacation

On the way home from Rock Climbing club tonight, I was treated to the following:

And you're Zero whistling Aloha Oe while you discover that it's hard to do the Hula with no arms or legs, so you just put fresh fruit on your head and continue dancing.

Because apparently while the Hula requires limbs, they are optional for putting fresh fruit on your head.

Zero Hour! and My Social Media Fast

This one came while we were sitting together at Cold Stone Creamery for a little family outing to use a coupon before it expired!

"And you're Zero, watching a science video about good and bad bacteria while enjoying your yogurt."


And in a poorly-segued change of topic, many of you readers are aware that I embarked on a social media fast during the month of July. Why would you do such a thing, you ask? I'll give you a little insight and some learning points.

Rationale:

• I probably "browse" too much. Between Facebook and my favorite BYU Sports sites, and various blogs, I could spend too much time perusing information that, while interesting, informative, and/or smile-inducing, isn't critical to my existence.
• I chose July (and I chose it during the last week of June) because I felt that August wouldn't be a good month for 2 reasons: 1) I was gone without internet access while at scout camp for a full week, and 2) Football started and I wanted to read camp updates (which Cyndie picked up on before I even explained it to her, so point made).
• It's summer, there's a lot of other stuff to do when I am not a work.
  
• My wife is pretty anti-social media. She plans to be the last person on earth without a Facebook account. I have a few friends that want to do the same. They've talked of forming a group, just as long as they don't have to do too much to sustain it (quarterly dinner for example, but I'm not sure they'd get it coordinated). I wanted to see the world from their viewpoint.
  

Rules:

• No social media for the month of July
• My initial plan was to check personal email weekly (work email isn't social media, yo), but I figured out that people were trying to get a hold of me and I needed to respond, so I checked my personal email daily (but usually only once at lunch and once at night) and responded to texts (which were mostly for my church responsibilities).
  
• News sites were OK, but only to further investigate news I had become aware of.
  
• I'm the boss, so I can mutate rules if needed
  

Learning points:

• While I am goal oriented, I am better at denial goals (I swore off pop in 2009 and now rarely drink it) than proactive goals (I have a hard time getting in serious exercise every day).
  
• Social media is all around us. There's really no escaping it. We all engage in it to some degree every day.
  
• I can live without it, but I may feel disconnected. I missed some updates... and some events (was there a Swim Herschel Swim reunion?) Please forgive me.
  
• I read more, spent time with the family, did lots of yard work, and watched some old TV on Netflix with Cyndie, but not a ton (see proactive goal difficulty above).

All in all, it was a worthwhile experiment and experience. I do less "browsing" now. But here's the thing: I have friends (both the real kind like Joel, Ryan, and Rick and the Facebook kind like Cougar Tracks and Cougar Corner) who compile great information that I want, but save me the time of searching it out myself.

I will likely realize insights, or come up with learning points and post them later. In the mean time, see you in the ether.

Hunk-cules and Turning over new leaves

We went to the Desert Star Playhouse today. It's a place we take the kids a couple-three times each year to get them exposed to some culture (and comedy) in a place they can't do too much damage. Although we did send a glass of Sprite and ice sailing over a bannister today...

Anywho, today's feature was "Hunk-cules (I'm Too Sexy For My Toga)".

At one point the princess, betrothed to a man that was not her true love, ran into the audience to find the Amazon Queen (apparently she could not be found on amazon.com). She came right up to our table and Dane was able to help her find the fugitive!

After the ordeal, Dane looked at his mom and said, "I finally spoke to a princess. A real princess!" And then he whispered, "Everything is so clear now!"

As we were reminiscing about the hilarity of it all tonight, Dane dropped this gem: "I'm turning over a new leaf, getting a clean slate, living my life on the lam." And we thought he was looking forward to starting school on Monday! Oye!

Zero Hour! Conjoined Ghost Puppies

... and you're Zero, conjoined with another ghost puppy (at this point Tate and Dane touch their heads together, followed by a puppy "yip" from Dane). But don't worry, you're dead, so you're easily separated!

Zero Hour!

I've been on a social media fast. I decided the last week of June that July would be a cold-turkey, go-off-it-all month. I'll post more on that later.

Interestingly enough, Tate took a bit of a hiatus in his Zero game that you didn't miss much while I abstained from blogging. He's conveniently re-started the game, with an intensified complexity!


...and you're Zero in 1937 in the third pilot seat with Fred Noonan and Amelia Erhart, not paying attention to the coming storm.

...and I'm holding the just-been-born puppy Zero and all of the adult ghost dogs are amazed because he's the first baby ghost puppy ever.

...Zero, the ghost puppy, presents "Ghost Puppy Tunes 2"! Including Zero, singing "Smoke On The Water".

Tate's Take

Hello and welcome to our latest installment of Tate's Take.

This episode brought to you by the good folks at the Cattlemen's Beef Board and the Beef Council. Beef: It's What's for Dinner!

The following in an unabridged and unedited persuasive essay written by Tate.

Did you know? Meat is heathyer than plants. Acorrding to me and meat eaters. I get heathy muscles. I eat a lot of meat, because meat is good.

Meet me please (ha ha). Help us with more meat. Please meet me is a joke. Plant eater have more fate.

Meat gives you protein. Put meat on the grill. Tell smart people.

Ask the butcher he knows. Tell him meat is heathy. Some veggies and other plants are heathy too.

That's my advice. Tell that to people who like barbecues. So if you want to be strong eat meat.

So if you are wondering what Tate wants to eat, your are pretty safe if you offer something that stated as a cow.

OmaHeck: Dane Can Say It!

Since I just posted a long list of Tate quotes, here are some Dane-isms from recent days.

When he wants to know about something, he goes in head first. He kind of immerses himself in the issue and becomes something of an expert. This excerpt came when D was highly focused on Tokyo's most famous monster, and at the same time asked Music Momma a classic rock question.

"Wow, you sure remember a lot of things for a person who doesn't remember very much about Godzilla movies."

---

Those of you who have spent time around Dane won't really believe this, but it is 100% authentic:

"Boy, I sure am getting tired from talking so much!"

---

Here's a combo from the boys together talking to their mom.

Tate: Did I spy on you as a spirit? Did I spy on you watching your favorite shows?
Dane: Yeah, me too! And we came down from Heaven when you didn't even suspect it!

OmaHecks: Awesome Tate Quotes (warning: very LONG)

I know it has been a while. Some good stuff is saved up. No promises, but I'll try and do better.

These are all from Tate. He's been on a roll lately. They date back a while, but like NBC TV, if you haven't seen it, it's new to you!

We'll start with two from today (I'm partial to FIFO inventory systems , but I'm going LIFO on this one).

While he and I were passing the Sacrament in Church today, T looks at me and semi-whispers: "Bellatrix pretends to be an innocent woman."

Now tell me, does this look like an innocent woman?I don't think so. It was just so random. Classic Tate.

Then, just a few minutes later, this gem: "I like the presents at Christmas... and also the feasts!"

Recall the the point of the Sacrament ordinance (Communion, The Lord's Supper, most Christian religions have something similar) is to remember Christ. Gentle reader (not Gentile reader, I'm not going there) how on earth am I supposed to be Christ-focused with this kind of hilarity being whispered into my ear?

---

Shortly before Christmas, Cyndie and Tate were wrapping Tate's gift to Dane. They are quietly whispering to be covert. Tate is giggling, chirping and bouncing around. Apparently he could take it no longer when his arm start flapping above his head (no quite as though they are disconnected at the shoulders, but almost). Cyndie asks what's going on, and it that same loud whisper he tells her, "I'm acting casual!"

---

My parents came up to take the boys on an adventure. Open skate wasn't until 8 pm, so we decided to go bowling. JetBlue had reserved all the lanes until 9 (thanks JB, appreciate that you are taking care of your employees) so we had to find an alternative. Fortunately, the local Fat Cats bowling alley also has an arcade. The kind with tickets and over-priced prized you can use the tickets to redeem. We played games with Grandpa and Grandma for a while, ordered some pizza, and headed to the car.

As we left the building, we saw some girls standing outside the entrance (no word on whether their parents work for JetBlue). They offered salutations: Hi Tate! Hey Tate! Merry Christmas Tate!

To get the full effect of his response, allow me to paint a mental picture for you:
He looked away, pointed both arms toward the gaggle (one away from his body and the other across his chest) and said simply, "Hey chicks, nice jackets!"

Dane followed that with "'S'up?" and a slight shrug. Oi!

I thought I was going to die! I had never heard him say something like that... especially with the Joe Cool attitude. It was hilarious. Being the diligent patent I am, I asked Tate if he thought that was maybe just a little rude. (He didn't.) Or whether he might have something a bit more conversational to say. (Again, no.) The girls were unphased. They giggled and said it was OK, that he was in their classes at school.

---

Over the summer, we had a family reunion. The whole famdamily. All 62 of us. Patriarch, Matriach, 10 kids, 10 spouses, 40 grandkids. It was an exercise in togetherness :P Really Together.

Actually, it was lots of fun. Others have done better in their blogging, journaling, and general reminiscing about it. My kids haven't really stopped talking about it, and list it among the best trips ever (right up there with Disney Land, Great Wolf Lodge, and finding a cotton candy vendor... just so you have perspective).

Among the "together" things we did was take a family picture. No small accomplishment. This post is already long, but I'm going to let you in on some family picture taking history.

Once, when the colors had been pre-determined, a sibling called for a pre-picture discussion of what everyone was wearing. At least half of those with children at the time listed a color other than those that had been pre-authorized. And none of them matched each other.

Another time, it was determined that we would wear "jeans and solid pastel shirts." Pretty hard to screw that one up. And we didn't. Picture still hangs in several houses. Looks like a skittles factory exploded.
So in our patriotic best, (red, white, and blue, not Tea Party duds) we stood, sat, stacked and squished, and rearranged and swapped, squished some more, then we tried to get kids to look and smile and... I bet you can picture it, can't you! It's a nice picture. We are standing against the brick wall of a church that is 100+ years old.

Finally it went off. Woo Hoo! Until someone suggested another picture, this one on the stairs leading up to the former main entrance of the church. Cyndie and I, being among the tallers were put in the back. All the kids were put up front. We had no access to them. After one picture, Tate decides he's done. He takes off.

Several looks at Cyndie and I. What would you like us to do, our looks reply. We're here 20' off the ground and you are all in our way! Perhaps one of you would like to go get him? Ha Ha!

Sweet niece Maren gently goes after him to coax, invite, cajole, (unfortunately she hasn't really learned bribing yet), and get him back in the fold for more picture taking. Of course she was unsuccessful. He ran off with the arms flailing above his head (think ET) and yelled at his cousin: "You are so FIRED!"

OmaHeck: Tate's Take

Our columnist has been on hiatus and so we were thrilled to receive this entry for publications.

Before our esteemed philosopher's latest, some background:
Tate love to make bonfires with his Bompa, or "Bomps" as he's recently been dubbed. Recent weather (wind, low temps, inversions), and the political climate (a recent wild fire near Bomps' house) have prevented him from enjoying fire time.

In an effort to get his fix in, he swiped some matches and started a small leaf fire in the garage. Needless to say, we weren't thrilled and let him know so. The burnables he'd collected (he's got a box that he uses to to stash materials in hold until the next trip to Bompa's) were therefore subject to confiscation, much to his dismay.

A few days after the confiscation, the following appeared on our bed (no spelling or punctuation changes have been made):

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Anderson

Did you know it is agenst the law #600 no throwing away your son's burny box
stuff? Your under arrest.

Signed,The Police, Dan Snare, The garbageman and Mr. Obama

P.S. Your in really big trouble.

Dan Snarr is the Mayor of our city and a staple at school events. In Tate's mind, he's quite the celebrity. The other signatories should be familiar to you.

If harboring resentment is an olympic sport, Tate is training for the Nationals presently. We're pretty sure he'll get over it, but for now we're anxious for the next fire episode so he can get it out of his system.

OmaHeck: Learning from Your Kids

Last night, as we were winding down from the Halloween events, Tate told us that he never wanted 2010 to end.
He likes being 12, October is great, December is coming, it's his favortite time of the year.
Then he throws out that he likes numbers divisible by 3.

"Um, Tate," I say, "2010 is NOT divisible by 3." I'm so sure I'm right because in my trick-or-treated out head, 201 is not divisible by 3 and so neither is 2010. He starts to argue with me. But he's tired too, so he just goes to bed.

Cyndie was thinking, we probably shouldn't argue with Tate on this issue... it's proven to be frutiless--and embarrasing--in the past.

So today after church, Tate grabs the calculator and types in 2010, shows it to me, hits divide by and then 3... equals 670! He's right. OK, so maybe I'll be smarter next time. But probably not.

OmaHeck: Heroes, Cyborgs and Dad

Cyndie was watching the news tonight when I got home tonight. As we served up dinner, but just before turning off the TV, Minute To Win It! came on. The contestants were disabled veterans who had both been shot in the leg by a missile. Each had a prosthetic leg. Dane was admiring their stories, fascinated.

He looked for a while, then said, "They are cyborgs!"

"Really?" responded his parents.

"Well they are part human... and part machine."

"Oh" from the parents.

"Dad's actually a cyborg, too. He's got that metal machine in his knee."

Cyndie's thinking this could hold braggin' rights at the local elementary milk cooler, so she asks him, "Have you told people about this?"

Dane retorted incredulously, "No, that would blow his cover!"

Maybe it's time for my secret identity to become my only identity.

OmaHeck: Been a While

So you haven't heard from us recently, and that's not by design. Let's just say that antibiotics have become a family favorite recently.

Here are a couple of choice Dane-isms from recent weeks.

Cyndie stopped by the bank to deposit a check the other day. She put the check and deposit slip in the tube and Dane was mesmerized. "Oh!! Looks like some kind of DNA containment chamber--or a pod!"

A few days ago, while we were planning a pool trip, Dane got his idioms combined and let us know that "waiting for an hour to swim after you eat is Old Mothers' Folk!" When he realized that he'd combined Old Wives' Tale, Folk Tale, and Mothers' Tale, he roared with laughter. We all did.

I love having kids for the fun things they say...

OmaHeck: How Did You Find Me?

Tate is officially in Jr High. For all the frantic worrying (by his mom, not so much by me, and especially not by Tate), day 1 went off without a hitch... mostly.

Day 1 is for 7th graders only. Get 'em in the school and herd 'em from class to class without the 8th and 9th graders owning the halls. Makes sense. We did a dry run at back to school night on Wednesday. Did you know that Jr High has a distinctive smell? It is a smell that says,"I haven't showered recently, but I used deodorant 2 days ago and it since I haven't showered, it should still be on." But I digress.

Tate spent 5th grade brooding about moving and spent 6th grade being done with elementary school. This summer he told me that he was looking forward to "a whole new life at Jr High." Music. Music to my ears!

We met with the teachers and the special ed coordinators. Everything was lined up. Schedule, locker (which did get changed once we realized where his classes were relative to his original locker), paper filing system, plan for the alphasmart, etc. etc. After lunch, the plan was for him to hit the media center and read. Grrreat! He doesn't really like sports or playground, so that's a fantastic solution. Until we execute...

After lunch, Tate headed straight to the media center for some reading time. He camped out behind the book fair display and got down to business. Shortly after opening Eyewitness books on snakes, skeletons, and sharks, the Librarian came by and said sweetly, "Well hello! What are you doing here?" Technically the media center wasn't open at lunch. Trouble brewing? Nope, Tate took it in stride and responded,, "How did you find me?"

Librarian called Special Ed instructor and said, "I think you have a lost soul down here." He offered Tate lunch access to his room and bookshelves and Tate was cool with the swap. Disaster averted. Thank goodness for small miracles.

While getting ready for bed, Tate offered up that he was thankful for a great 1st day of school. We're on our way!